Barbecue jokes

My friend just sent me this:

New Standard Operating Procedures released today. Please learn.
BBQ RULES We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to
refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man
volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables
and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary
cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three metre exclusion zone where the
exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the
interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine...
(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and
asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat.
Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL
AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine...
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread,
utensils, napkins, sauce and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and
does the dishes.
And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM
for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed
her 'night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction,
concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

Barbq at Cast in style

Great barbq at Cast in style - plus discount vouchers

Outback Omega 200 Gas Grill

Buy Gas BBQ at CookInStyle.co.uk - Quality Homewares

LAST FEW!!! Now includes FREE COVER AND PROPANE GAS REGULATOR WHEN YOU BUY THIS BARBECUE!! The MM100/07 Omega Gas 200 barbecue, comprises of dual control burner, one piece hammertone painted hood, chrome grill, lava rock, removable nylon screen, piezo ignition, factory assembled hood & body, wheels covers, hose assembly. Chosen by Which Consumer Association as a 'Best Buy' in 2008, this little beauty is a winner time after time and is offered at a great price. Our entry level model is small enough to be placed discreetly on any outdoor space, yet big enough to create a banquet for a family of 4. Includes a propane gas regulator and BBQ cover, the cooking area is 50 x 36cm.

Features

FREE DELIVERY WITH THIS BARBEQUE IN 1 - 3 WORKING DAYS

Cooking Area 50 x 36 cm

Assembled size 122 x 49.5 x 104 cms

Weight 22.40 kgs

Cast In Style Code:AFWIN

10% off all orders

Expires:30/12/2009




Cast In Style Code:AFWIN5

£5 off any order over £50

Expires:30/12/2009




Cook In Style Code:CIS5

This code entitles the user to a 5% discount on all purchases and is valid for
3 months.

Expires:06/06/2009

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Weber Go Anywhere Portable Barbecue

Weber Go Anywhere Portable Barbecue. This space-saving charcoal model, with its compact design is solidly engineered with no nuts or bolts to rust or wear out. Nickel-plated legs pivot to lock the lid in place so you can carry the grill securely with one hand.

Weber
Go Anywhere Portable Barbecue

This is a great barbecue if you like to go for days out, or have barbecues when you're away from home on the beach or almost anywhere!

The Weber portable barbecues are ideal for camping trips, picnics or even small homes. Each has over 1000cm2 of cooking area, and can cook for up to 4 people.

Weber's is Australian! So they know a thing or two about barbecues!

Nickel-plated legs pivot to lock lid in place for carrying

No-rust aluminium vents

uses charcoal!

Easy to carry

What to cook on the Napoleon Barbeque

You're obviously a party lover if you're going to be buying and using one of these!

Biggest barbq -
Napoleon Prestige II 750 Gemini Gas Barbecue

The Napoleon Prestige II 750 Gemini Gas Barbecue is a massive barbecue and I can only imagine how much fun it would be actually using one!

With so much room there's room for everything you want to be cooking!

It's got a Rotisserie so that means you can cook whole chickens on it!

You can close the lid and use it to cook like an oven, so if the kids want delicious homemade pizzas then that's no problem either!

The sheer size of the barbecue also means you can cook everyone something at the same time without having to make people wait!

I'd do some delicious steaks marinaded in a herb and oil mixture with plenty of fresh rosemary and thyme sprinkled in and about a pound of garlic (Only joking, but several cloves of garlic are essential!)

You should always make some garlic bread too on the barbeque - foil wrap a split baguette buttered with garlic butter and toast it for probably not more than ten minutes! It'll be so hot and delicious!

Don't forget some healthy salads too as side dishes to go with all the meat!
And plenty of bread rolls for the sausages, and ketchups and sauces!

Mmmm, Barbecue heaven!

Huge range of barbecues at Raw Garden

Massive range of Barbecues
Charcoal or gas

Big name brands including:
• Dancook
• Grill Tech and Hotspot
• Napoleon
• O-Grill
• Weber

List of barbecues online at Raw Garden

Dancook Barbecue Starter
£14.99


Hotspot Notebook Portable Grill
£25.99


Hotspot Carry & Go Large Grill Out Of Stock
£29.99


Weber Go Anywhere Portable Barbecue

£44.54
Weber One Touch Silver Charcoal Barbecue

£74.99


Dancook 1600 Kettle Charcoal Barbecue

£107.99


Dancook 1000 Kettle Charcoal Barbecue

£134.99


Grill Tech Space 600
£149.99

O-Grill 3000 (Blue)

£149.99


O-Grill 3000 (Green)

£149.99


O-Grill 3000 (Red)

£149.99

O-Grill 3000 (Orange)

£149.99

Dancook 1400 Kettle Charcoal Barbecue

£161.99

Grill Tech Space 800

£199.99


Dancook 1800 Kettle Charcoal Barbecue

£206.99


Dancook 1500 Kettle Charcoal Barbecue and Preparation Table

£294.99

Grill Tech Range Grill Stainless Steel Barbecue

£619.99


Napoleon Mirage 485 Gas Barbecue

Now £885.00


Napoleon Prestige II 308 Gas Barbecue

Now £1045.00


Napoleon Prestige II 450 Stainless Steel Gas Barbecue

Now £1280.00

Napoleon Prestige II 450 Black Gas Barbecue

Now £1280.00


Napoleon Prestige II 450 Blue Gas Barbecue

Now £1280.00


Napoleon Mirage 605 Gas Barbecue

Now £1425.00


Napoleon Prestige II 450 Rbi Gas Barbecue

Now £1500.00

Napoleon Mirage 730 Gas Barbecue

Now £1899.99


Napoleon Prestige II 750 Gemini Gas Barbecue

Now £3200.00

The biggest barbecue in the world?

This is a real monster of a barbeque!

Napoleon Prestige II 750 Gemini Gas Barbecue

Biggest barbq - Napoleon Prestige

This is king of the barbeque land! It's enormous!
What better way to celebrate the great outdoors by having a huge barbecue with all your friends and family round enjoying the delicious food cooked on this amazing gas barbeque.
7458 square centimetres of cooking space, 2 infra-red burners, 2 gas burners (main and side)

I think if I had one of these then I'd throw an enormous party for all my work colleagues and friends and have an amazing food party with so many different types of outdoor cooked food! This grill system is big enough to dedicate a space for the vegetarians as well as keeping the meat eaters really well stocked with burgers, steaks and sausages. This is such an impressive barbeque that I'd make sure we had plenty of delicious foods like spatchcock chicken, sausages (Dozens of types!), steaks, and little tiny baby lamb chops!

My favourite veggie treats for the barbeque are corn on the cobs, done wrapped in their leaves, mango chutney and cheese buns wrapped in foil until they're meltingly hot! Heck you could even roast some vegetable kebabs too!
There's probably even some room for some jacket potatoes which are a lovely treat when done outside!

• Stainless steel construction
• Infrared ceramic burner to quickly sear in juices and flavor
• Stainless steel commercial grade tube burners for indirect and convection style cooking
• Side burner comes standard
• Stainless steel sear plates
• Heavy duty locking casters
• Space efficient roll-top lids
• Stainless steel storage cabinet
• Electronic ignition
• Commercial quality rotisserie
• Stainless steel tubular handle
• Stainless steel shelves with full-length condiment trays
• Full-length, galvanized steel drip pan
• Ergonomic knobs that connect to precision brass valves
• Cover protects your grill investment from mother nature
• Rotisserie peripherals add another dimension in heating options
• Fuel hoses provide added safety and keep your grill running efficiently
• Limited lifetime warranty
• Up to 107,000 BTU efficiency
• Main infrared burner: 30,000 BTUs
• Main tube burner: 45,000 BTUs
• Rear infrared burner: 19,000 BTUs
• Side burner: 13,000 BTUs
• Burner setup allows for direct and indirect grilling

Infrared ceramic burner to quickly sear in juices and flavor

Stainless steel commercial grade tube burners for indirect and convection style cooking

Side burner comes standard

Stainless steel sear plates

Heavy duty locking casters

Space efficient roll-top lids

Stainless steel storage cabinet

Electronic ignition

Commercial quality rotisserie

Stainless steel tubular handle

Stainless steel shelves with full-length condiment trays

Full-length, galvanized steel drip pan

Ergonomic knobs that connect to precision brass valves

Cover protects your grill investment from mother nature

Rotisserie peripherals add another dimension in heating options

Fuel hoses provide added safety and keep your grill running efficiently

Limited lifetime warranty